amusing no more.

so i went around KL today.


nothing but a rush of tension filled the air.
a sense of suffocation.
tense.
everything seems to be moving so fast and my pace is of no longer at its level.


for someone who was born and bred in KL
KL has been considered as my village since  i was a child.
born to both parents who are from KL itself.
years of raya were spent in the city.
with not even once. have i ever experienced the real proper kampung ambiance.
and with all those circumstances.
it would be befitting enough that i should be of norm with the city life.
and the hectic it has to offer.
wouldn't it?


but.

today.

today was different. today is the day that i realised.

that slowly.
i am losing that KL in me.

i no longer find joy nor peace in a place i claimed mine.

truthfully.
i have always loved KL.
to its core.
heck.
i grew up it in.
how can i not?
i used to know almost all the streets,the restaurants,the 'in' places.
everywhere.


indeed.i was.

the city girl.

i remember.

since i was a child.
we never had a proper kampung to visit on every first day of raya.
each raya was spent on empty streets at the heart of the city.
simply because.
that was.
our kampung.

in short.

KL was home.
and i have always loved home.

but today.
today was different.

after driving around it.
nothing in KL now i find amusing.
nothing seems of good interest.
i suffocate in the middle of the streets.
hating the ambiance the city has to offer.
almost every where i go.
tall buildings filled the sky.
grey tar roads criss cross the land.
shops are increasing in number.
people are hustling life from day to day like there is no tomorrow.
cars are found in abundance.
trees are rare to be seen.

it seems like the whole city are in a rush of an unknown ending.

and this.
shouldn't be news to me.

but.
had it been just recently?
or have i been blinded all this whilst?

still.
KL becomes even more suffocating.
cramped up with no ease of joy.
a pure point of materialism to infest.
capitalism becomes so empowered.

and without realising it.
i have been surrounded by it for years.
years before.

and this gave a second thought.

i can't be raising a child in this manner of milieu!
heck i can't even raise myself in it!

it seems all too vain.
i can't lie about not loving it before.

the late night rendezvous.
the endless food.
the shopping malls.
the essence of a city.

i can't lie.


i used to love it.

but now.
i am slowly losing KL.
and KL is slowly losing me.

it's no longer the city i can relate to.

i don't think KL has changed.
KL is still KL.5 years ago.10 years ago.

but i.

i have changed.
and now i just wish.

a small house within 2 valleys.
would be sufficient enough.

because.
if you really think about it.

how far can we actually go in development if it doesn't even bring ease to the soul.

being stuck in traffic jams nearing the time of solah.
being overwhelmed with materials to forget solah.
being rushed by the world just for a mere benefit.

is just.

not what i aim for a future.

now. probably.
i am no longer the KL girl.
but i am sure.
the land of God is vast.
may i find just the right place to settle when i am old enough.

quiet and peaceful.
so that i can hear my own heart beats.
in the midst of remembering Allah.

o Allah.
bless me a place where it becomes easier to remember You.

insyaAllah.

baju melayu biru buat aku malu.

rasanya,benda yang paling payah dalam beribadat bukan lah pada perlakuan nya.
tapi pada hati yang terlalu mudah timbul bangga pada tiap amal kecil.

wallahi.
tak mudah untuk buang itu dan berdiri bangga melaungkan.
'aku buat ini HANYA kerana Allah'
tanpa ada sekelumit wujud rasa riya'

sebab sungguh .
untuk seorang manusia yang kurang amalnya.
cetek ilmunya.

aku masih lagi berlari dari di kejar riya'
sehingga mampu aku bilang.
untuk ada hati yang benar-benar ikhlas.
adalah satu jihad yang tak ternampak kan oleh manusia.

jadi aku tulis kan ini.
supaya nanti-nanti bila aku sudah semakin lupa.
boleh aku bacakan lagi.
sebagai pemberi sedar pada yang hati yang tidur lena.

biar manapun timbul tiap kali perasaan itu.
perasaan mengharap kan oh.biar orang tahu.
atau minda melayang memikirkan imbalan dari manusia yang beribu.
perlu sekali aku pahami.
imbalan yang lumayan hanya datang dari Tuhan nya yang Satu.
jadi .
untuk tiap kali bisik hati.
yang kita sedari.
biar wujud rasa malu dalam diri.
yang biar pun amalan kita ini dibuat kita.
masih lagi berjuta luar sana yang amalannya lebih sempurna.
sebelum perlu rasa bangga.
perlu sekali malu yang dirasa pada mula.

malu.
yang biar pun kita beramal.
mungkin kali tak dipandang Tuhan.
malu.
biar pun kita beramal.
belum tentu akhirnya syurga berisisi Tuhan.

jadi.
untuk aku.
senjata dalam jihad tersembunyi.
adalah malu.

maka lawankan riya' itu dengan malu.
insyaAllah.
moga dipermudahkan kita dalam beramal.
tanpa ada tersasar niat.
biar yang ikhlas aja kita hadiahkan.
pada Tuhan yang penuh maaf nya.

insyaAllah.

anyway.
on another note.

cerita pendek tentang pagi di surau.
tadi.

seorang budak muda.
rasanya masih lagi bersekolah.
belasan tahun mungkin.
berbasikal ke surau.
pada pukul 2 pagi.
berseorang diri.
hanya semata ingin mengejar tahajjud berimam.
sedangkan tahu.
esok nya akan tetap ada kelas.

dan aku di tepi.
melihat diam sendiri-sendiri.
tiada bapak nya.
tiada emaknya.
yang memaksa menyeret dia ke sana.
tapi tetap dia ada.
bila semua orang lain masih selesa tidur.
budak muda ini bangun sendiri untuk berteman kan Ilahi.
dan itu.
itu buat aku rasa.

rugilah aku.
kalau dengan diri yang lebih berumur.
aku tetap tak mahu.
menghadap Tuhan pada malam yang hujung.

dik.
yang bebaju melayu biru.
moga kau nanti sudah habis sekolahnya.
jadi yang elok-elok.
lelaki yang bila dipandang oleh yang lain.
akan timbul rasa malu pada diri mereka.
dan terus teringat Tuhan di atas sana.

ameen. . .

batu dibuat jalan dan dinding.

dan timbul semacam satu perasaan manis bila dibangun kan dengan bacaan Quran.
pada pagi hujungnya Ramadhan.

bulan yang janji nya sebulan hampir pergi.
belum puas rasanya bermanja.
tak habis lagi melempiaskan rindu.
sudah mahu ditinggalkan lagi aku.

sedih.


sungguh.
belum sedia lagi.
aku ini.

tapi mungkin kali memang patut aku di perlaku begitu.
mungkin kali telah aku persia kan Ramadhan yang itu.

maka ditariknya nikmat masa.
dipercepat kan detik jarum.
agar pergi dia segera.


sungguh.bukan aku minta tidak di beri Syawal.
tapi.
kalau dibiar kan aku dalam Ramadhan.
biar lah sedetik lebih.
sebentar dilangkau.
biar aku cukup mengutip batu untuk dibuat jalan ke syurga.
cukup untuk dibuat dinding penghalang neraka.

sebab.
sungguh.
masih lagi sikit.

i just want to.

the last ten days of Ramadhan.

which denotes a lot of things.

a leaving of a month.

a starting of a new month.


a mixed feeling of everything.
sadness and happiness in one go.

and wallahi.
i have not done much yet.

too fast time is moving.
and at times i wish it would just stop for a bit.

coming back to Malaysia has been different.
very different.

i have wasted time fooling around with world.
so much preparation for the unknown.
and at times i just wish to be alone in a room.
where everything is in its still mode.
quite.
just.
alone.

i guess.
i am just not use to giving space to life.
i just want to be somewhere where its quiet.

a quite iktikaf in a mosque.
or probably a moment with nature.

i just don't know.

i just want to be somewhere where its quite.

dismissing the hectic of KL .


before it engulfs me soon.

niat yang terlupa.

malam ini sungguh aku benar belajar.

apa erti meletak kan niat pada yang sebenarnya. 

sungguh. 

benda yang terpaling takut datang juga. 

dan tanpa sedar.

aku jadi leka sebentar.

sudah habis aku rapi kan diri.

pulangnya nanti ke rumah.

akan banyak yang jadi godanya.

berabis fikir aku disana,sebelum beratap kan langit dan berpijak pada bumi yang sama.

mungkin kali aku akan terlupa.

dan benar.

aku terlupa.

yang dalam pada berniat itu ada cubaan nya. 

dan yang terpaling buat aku terdiam.

dalam sibuk bersuka mengenal kembali semua teman lama.

berada dekat pada keluarga.

bernafas dengan udara yang sama. 

yang dalam pada itu semua. 

hanya Satu yang tetap Utama. 

dan aku lupa.

dan. 

sungguh. 

kalau tak kerana Dia.

aku mungkin lebih dekat pada neraka. 

dan sungguh.

tersentap sekejap.

bila mana tersedar niat sudah terlari.

jauh dari azali. 

dan timbul rasa resah.

tak selesa. 

bagai lepas berlari berpeluh basah. 

aku sebenarnya. 

sudah lupa pada niat.

dan pada kali ini.

atas kata orang yang mungkin peduli.

atau mungkin kali juga lali.

tersentap. 

sekejap.

masih berpeluang aku kembali pada niat yang azali.

atas dasar apa aku buat itu dan ini.

dan sungguh.

kalau bukan Allah penggerak segala hati.

mungkin sudah dekat benar aku pada pintu neraka.

yang dihadapan sana itu nanti.

Alhamdullilah.

masih ada peluang untuk ucap.

maaf kan aku Allah.

terleka aku sebentar pada ujian yang menguji niat. 

moga Ramadhan ini bukan satu perhentian tapi malah satu harapan. 

pada Tuhan yang penuh bersifat kasihan. 

the heard frets.

i meant to write a different post.
something i have postponed for quite a while now.

but suddenly something else came into the picture.
and somehow.
i felt that i want to simply say a thing or two about it.


another friend is getting married.
Alhamdullilah.
i am beyond happy.

mabrook dear friend.

this brings back old memories.
during the days where she became the comfort of a broken heart of mine.

for all the ill treated moments i received from a person i put my beliefe in.
she understood it all.
probably maybe she was going through the same hardship.

and now.
many years after that.

she is soon to be married to a guy of her choice.
that is bringing her closer to Allah.
the Listener of both our cries.
and wallahi.
she deserved nothing but a lovely guy who would love her till the day where the days end.

may her patience bring her to the beauty of loving.

and there is a warm feeling inside of me.
knowing the fact that.
Allah hears it all.
if we take time to talk to Him.

and i am glad.
another friend is on her journey of yet another phase of life.
may i be granted of the same opportunity.
a chance to understand there is sweetness in patience.
of loving another person for the sole purpose of loving Allah.

mabrook love.

mabrook.

:')

the wonder woman.

2 nights ago.

a sudden rush of insecurity came to visit.

and by midnight.
my eyes were wide opened.

soon after tarawih was done.
i planned to take a short slumber.

trying to squeeze sleep in between the given 4 hours.

but the eyes refused to shut in peace.
some dangling thoughts circumambulate the head.
and there i was.
unsettled.
on the bed.

'Khadija,the first Muslim and the wife of the Prophet' book was left by the side.
half opened.
i must have dozed up well between the chapters.

what a shame.
a book i bought about  a month ago.
baring only few thin pages.
still.
yet.
unfinished.

i was quater through it.
a point of forcing myself to at least finish it within a day.
and i guess.
in between those period.i fell asleep.
and so.


begins the endless thought  of  an awoken sleep in the windy summer night.

'gosh. will i ever be even a tiny bit of who Khadija was?.will i ever?'

that lingered about for quite a while.

such profound personality.
too profound.it became unreachable for someone like me.

and why this thought out of a sudden.if you may ask?

i guess.
a sense of ultimate realisation began to creep in.
slowly.
only to realise.
with Allah's will.
soon enough.
i shall bare yet another responsibility in life.

and somehow.
that.
became a fear.

how loving.
how caring.
how supporting.
how understanding
how wealthy.
how beautiful.
how patient.


how wonderful.


Khadija was.

i was none of the above.

not to the extent of her level that is.


and my heart begins to contemplate.
reasoning with the thoughts that came.
why worry.

i am not going to wed Muhammad (SAW).
at least.
not the Messenger of Allah.

this is.
just yet.
another creation of His.

so why worry?

and something from the book came into mind.


'she sacrificed everything, over what she believed that is true of a God,that was brought through by Muhammad (SAW)'

and there.
i thought to myself.

Allahu.

Khadija did it for Allah.
though long before the revelation.

and through Muhammad (SAW) she saw it all.

the way to love Allah . . . .

is indeed to love His Messenger.

and THAT is the cause. of my worry.
trying to present the best.
not for the sake of another creation.
but as capitals.
to present to the Lord.

and indeed.
Khadija presented hers.
well.

with such great devotion.
putting her selfless nature before hand .
loving someone with such admiration.
wallahi indeed she is a thousand times of a woman.

and there i was.
full of thoughts.
wondering to myself.

will i be able to love someone to that extend?
to be selfless to that raise?

and to understand fully.
that it is Allah that i want.firstly.

will i able to be just a tiny bit of who Khadija was?

and other thoughts filled in along.

how ready is ready?

what becomes a bench mark of one?
surely desire wouldn't be enough.
surely.

is it simply of knowing what chores become priority.
or how much money you have in your account.
or how pleasing your are on the outside.
or in fact. how mature you are of your age.

and a part of me.
tells that.
no. that isn't just it.

it is more than that.
it SHOULD.be more than that.
shouldn't it?

unsatisfied with the norm way of how most people draw the line of between  being ready or the opposite.
i spent months before.trying to find more.


and last 2 nights ago.
became a point of analyzing of how far my research has gone.
the first draft of a dissertation.
one might say.

and so with the book by the side.
i began to remember what i have read.

what made.
Khadija.
a Khadija.

this is a woman that lived decades of years ago.
with nothing but words to describe her nobleness.

this is a woman that believed in a man.
when no one did.
over something that is vastly unacceptable during the time.

this is a woman that put aside her wealth.
for a cause.
of a man that has so little of the worldly goods.

this is a woman that climbed a hill.
to bring food and comfort.
to a man that was in search of his Lord.

this .
is a woman.
that prepares herself.
not just in wealth.
status.
nor the nitty gritty tricks of merely house chores.

this is a woman.
that prepares her soul .

for a man.
that needs it all.

Khadija beautified her soul.
taking care each step she makes.
so that it ends right where Muhammad (SAW) stands.

and it triggered me.

i can learn how to cook.
make the food taste nicer than what the stores have to offer.
i can learn to make the bed.
as tidy like it has never been laid on.
i can learn to beautify myself.
8 inch of makeup everyday to look like someone else.
i can learn to earn.
build up wealth in an account.

i can learn all that.

but.

would it be as much important as how to learn to beautify my soul?
as a completion to the other soul.

so that.
when i need to climb the hill.
to feed the tummy of someone that needs it.
my soul will be the strength that pulls up the physique.

so that.
when i need to be generous.to spare what i have.
to be apart of a cause for Allah.
my soul will be the wealth that allows me to do so.

so that.
when i need to be the comfort of a distress.
of a man that is in pursuit of knowing his Rabb.
my soul will become the tool to ease it.

because indeed.

Khadija had it all.
but what became so beautiful about her.
is that.

she had a beautiful soul.

and that.
becomes a lesson.
for me and for others too i hope.
to bear in mind.

that.
at the end of the day.

a beautiful soul.
saves the day.

and now.
of no great expertise in the kitchen.
of no great figures in the account.
of no beautiful face to parade.

i have none but only.
a soul.
that is still in its journey.
to understand what beauty is.

so that .
one day.
it may.
complete of yet another soul.
in the steps to Allah.

insyaAllah.

may Allah grant us all the opportunity to be even.
just a glimpse of who Khadija was.

the wonder woman.

of Muhammad (SAW).

the cloak of humility across the world.

so as promised.
something that i would really like to share in relation to my previous visits across the small portion of the world.

i have been wanting to write this for so long , but i guess laziness caught me well and as days passed by. i lost bit by bit the opportunity given to share the blessed that i have been given.
and so. at this very moment.
i should really try to express and share my understanding through words.
the least.


before i begin,i think it would be befitting enough for me to explain that.

i am not one that is in the position of saying.
i have seen most of the world.


but.
i guess.
i am one that could say.
Alhamdullilah.
for His blessings.
though it is not much compared to others out there.


Alhamdullilah.still.

and may Allah protect me from any form of ostentation for it is never the intention.


so bismillahirrahmannirahim.
may this post be of good benefit to me and to anyone out there.
insyaAllah.





_________________________________________

i took the first step to travel when i first came to this foreign land.
such great chance given.
though i know i am not the first one.
but indeed amongst those that had the opportunity.

and so.
i did.

from one place to another i went.
before knowing the very essence of why we actually travel.
i took my steps nonetheless.

some people.
take traveling as leisure.
some take it to understand more.
and in some.
they believe it is just a chance.
to see the world.
from a different angle.

and i guess.
for quite sometime.
i was amongst the group of the third.

and after a while.
journeying into the path of knowing God.
i began to realise there are more to traveling than just seeing the grass on the other side of the field.

slowly.
for every step that i took.
i made a decision to really understand of what cause i did it for.

and indeed.
only with the guidance of Allah i began to comprehend why as Muslims we are asked to travel around and explore.


so to begin.
the first place i would like to share about is . . . . .



Mecca.

though it is not the first that i visited.
i believe it deserves the first to be mentioned of.

and here.it begins. . . . .


it was extremely hot and dry.
the kind of dryness that can't be quenched with the coolest sweetest lemon ice of all.
the air was filled with dust of the road.
and everyone is walking at such different pace.
if i were to describe it with a single word.
at its first state.
chaotic would be it.

but it was at night.
the sky was dark.
when i first arrived.
and everyone was wearing white.
the white shining marble of masjidilharam became the light of the path.
and there i took my step following the congregation.

slowly analysing the surrounding around me.
grasping the milieu as i went along.
ah such great experience it was.
i remember still.
Alhamdullilah.

Mecca.
the holy land of my religion.
surrounded by thousands of other submitters of God.
and to compare.
i am none but a small speck in a huge spectrum of space.

but somehow.
i guess.
the miracle of the place itself.
no matter how many people you are being surrounded with.
millions if it may be.
God has His way of capturing your heart and make you feel like you are the only one there.

days in Mecca felt long.
i spent most of it at the mosque.
dismissing myself from the crowd most of the time.
in a way of trying to really understand.
why i was there.

i remember there was a spot in the mosque i will go to.
every single time.
right by the pillars.
just enough to see the Kaabah from where i was sitting.
but not at close distance to just walk and touch it.

it is not easy to always get a good spot.
the mosque is to accommodate millions of people every year.
thousands at a time.
but each time i was lucky.
my spot was always there waiting for me.

and so.
there was this one time.
in late afternoon.


where i sat still at my spot.
still like a stone.rigid like the pillars by the sides.
not a little budge.afraid if i move i might miss my spot.

for a while
i did my reading.
until i weary myself.
and stopped for a bit.
for a change that day.i took a pause a little longer than i always did.
just taking the nikmah of time to appraise the surrounding.
the people. the most.

as i was doing that.
a thought came to mind.
'i have seen Muslims around other places. and roughly know how they behave.now,would it be different in this very place where the birth of Muslims is?
a place where Muslims are the majority or should i say in total.

i roamed my eyes.
to the left and to the right.
two ladies caught my attention.
one in leisure state,lying in the middle of the mosque.
a senior of probably in her 60's or 70's.
and another one.
a young thin woman busy working,cleaning the mattresses.
and so. i locked my eyes on those two individuals.
decided  i am going to spend the little minutes to sight them.
two individuals of an afternoon in masjidilharam.

the young woman is covered with a niqab.
though i can't see her face i can feel the tiredness that she is bearing.
slowly she moved her steps.
with great might dragging along a heavy hover behind.
from one row to another row she continued.
and looking at her physique. i know a little rest would be much appreciated.
such humble self.
working slowly. cleaning the house of Allah.
oh i can't imagine the amount of deeds she has attained if her intention was at the right place.

as she moved forward.
finally.she reached my spot.
not wanting to deter.
i moved a little.
she understood my gesture.
and gave a lovely grin behind the niqab.
i can't see her lips move.
but i know her eyes are saying thank you for easing her job.
and somehow. there was a sense of humility in her.
and as i was moving away. i decided to lie by the side of the senior woman.
by the look of it.
she looked tired too.
consumed by her age and the hot weather.
she looked at me and turned away.
like i was another stranger in the mosque.
she was well dressed.
and smelled good.
probably just another one that Allah blessed with good sustenance.

after a while. and countless grins that i offered.
she finally smiled back.
little did i know.
she was too looking at the young lady cleaning.
and with her tired limbs.
she raised up.
and moved towards her.
only to greet her and to give a little sadaqah.

i know this might sound rather petty.
just another regular deed in the mosque one might see it.
but as i was there.
in between two levels of life.
one in a mosque at her leisure state.
and the other working in the mosque for her dinner plate.

and Islam joined them in a deed.
that is praised by Allah.


sadaqah indeed.
and Islam showed its beauty of being humble for those who truly understands it.

the senior placed herself next to me again.
and i gawked at her.
because i know.
by the look of it.
she looked like someone who owns the wealth.
yet.
the moment she held the hand of that young lady.
all wealth shed from her and the cloak of humility covered her entirely.

and for both.
i pray that they are being rewarded by Allah.
abundantly.
still.
(say ameen)

an afternoon of one spot in Mecca.
i truly learnt the value of appreciating others more than the wealth you own.

again. a few months back and a few months ahead after Mecca i was given the opportunity to travel somewhere else.
places that are in contra of Mecca itself.
the European land.
where Muslims become a minority and Islam is an odd religion to adhere.

and another story begins.


it was one winter.and one summer apart.

i travelled all the way to countries filled with sublime sceneries.
like those photos you just take out from calendars and place it in the middle of a huge space.
so beautiful that my limited vocabs of beauty won't do it just.
therefore.instead of struggling to find the right word for it.
i shall just pray that anyone who is reading this will reach there one day.
and witness it for yourself.
instead.
insyaAllah.

and so.
we travelled in a train.
from one place to another .
and again.
i did my thing.
sitting at one place.
quietly.
and looked around.
many times we came across our Muslim brothers and sisters.
and one particular thing i noticed.the most.
every time i visit such countries.

there is always a chance for me to evaluate how we act.
as Muslims in general.
in the countries where we are found so few.

more than once have i bumped into .
my brothers and sisters of Islam.
some in fact came from the same country that i am.

and one thing that has always been a thing that i ponder most.
some find it hard to give salam.and some are really really generous with it.

i don't know of what reason it may be.
but. the less you have in wealth. the more friendly you became.
when it comes to this sort of visit.

i hope i am not being misconstrued.
far from being judgmental i want to be.
just speaking out of experience and apparent signs given by others.

both fortunate and unfortunate events indeed.
somehow.

one afternoon.
i was walking around.
exploring.
and as we crossed the busy street.
a group of Muslims passed us by.
a cold gesture was received.
walking passed them was like a sign that i was ripping off their dignity.
not worthy of a salam.
though i know.and they know.
we bow to the same Lord.

a few times of such encounter happened.
and i was blaming myself.
probably i was not warm enough.
probably when i thought i was smiling.
i wasn't .

and so i was determined.
i need to make sure.
i give salam first.
next time around.
probably i need to be the one who breaks the wall of arrogance.

and i did just that.
sadly.
the same reply was received.

and i was saddened by this.
very.

but Allah is ever so sweet.
He knows His creations well.
the next time i took my steps to travel.
to yet another country.

a lady of commoner like me.
came forward with such warm smile.
and gave me such a sincere salam.
from a Muslim to another.
she had little i know.
from her worn out clothes.
and her simple appearance.
yet. still. without shy.
she was proud to be able to give salam to another Muslim.
not being too proud of her self instead.

another country that i went for a visit.
too had the same kind of event.
those moderate looking group of people.
always have a smile on them.
probably their limbs are not burdened by the heavy shopping that it became a lot easier for them to move the muscle to smile and greet salam.
probably.

such diverse conduct of two group of people.
and i wondered more.
sometimes.
those that have little have so much to offer.
and those that have more have very little to share.

and i was reminded of the old lady in the mosque.
indeed.
at times its not easy to attain great humility.
especially to those who have tasted the hazard of haughtiness.

and indeed through these events i learnt on such fortunate chances to travel.
i begin to value people more.
and indeed those who carry the religion should express it in their conducts.
not merely as a show to the Lord  and the people but as a sense of humbling one self.
that at the end of the day .
we are just a shaped clay .

and so.
several afternoon walks in the European land.
i truly learnt the value of appreciating others more than the wealth you own.

and indeed.
it gave me great tarbiyah.
no matter where you are.
or who you are.
humility is always a great company.
when one day.
it is hell that is facing.

may Allah grant us the akhlaq (way of conduct) of those who understands Islam not just by its name.
and may Allah make us all,the people who values the deen more than the wealth that is blessed.

ameen.

insyaAllah.

now. time to reevaluate oneself.
how far have we tamed our haughtiness so that we gain our humility.

ponder this upon.

lompat-lompat

are you excited for Ramadhan?
are you?are you?
yes!
so roughly my Ramadhan is going to be about 20hours of fasting this year.
Alhamdullilah!
extended time to gain more benefit from it!
tomorrow! tomorrow!
ya Rabb.
lengthen my life.
so i reach tomorrow.
pretty pleaseeeeeeeeeee......

insyaAllah.

:)

and i share this video.
so that we all jump in hype for that 29 days of wonderful hours

and yes.
because aiman knows how to make us all become kids on sugar rush when it comes to the deen.
everytime-single-time-with-his-video.

yeay!

oh hye there handsome Ramadhan.

i have so many things to write.
too many to a point.
i don't know where to begin.

so as for now.
i shall contain it for awhile.
just before i find a more suitable state to share the knowledge i have gained these past few days.
such sweet tarbiyah.

as for now.
a short wish to all.
of a coming beautiful guest.

Ramadhan Mubaraq!

may Allah join us with it.
in great peace.

and yes. i will be coming home soon.
insyaAllah.
so yes.
i am jumping up and down like a mad woman.
in my mind.
that is.

ya Rabb.
TAK SABARNYA.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ice cream treat.

a result was obtained yesterday.
Alhamdullilah.
half an architect i am now.

may the scroll and robe be of benefit to the ummah.

an evening stroll around Ponte Vecchio yesterday.
and an ice cream treat with a father and a mother.

simply.
lovely.

nothing beats the feeling of being able to make them smile.
as i told them.
the news.

oh.
how i love Allah for all these.

and now.
as i am entering July.
a new phase in life is about to begin.

and i don't know why.
but i have such a serene feeling.
upon its arrival.

something tells me that.
it should be alright.
or maybe probably.
its the chemical in the  brain.

or yet another sign from Allah.

to tell me to take it slow and steady.
for the ride will be ridiculously amazing.

insyaAllah.


:)