we bow to the same Allah.don't we?

loud noise.outside.
and dust in the air.
an empty tummy.
with a bleeding eye.

feed me.
fix me.
talk about me.

so they know.
i bow to the same Allah.

so why not hold my hands?
wipe my tears.
talk about me.

dear brothers and sisters.
aren't we all aiming for the same door?

so why not hold my hands.
wipe my tears.
talk about me.

between your luxuries.
and your contentment  of your own world.

why not.
think about me.
too?

sincerely,
i.
the one from.
Palestine.
Syria.
Burma.
Africa.

the lands of God.
too.

incase.
you forgot.

sayang.jangan pergi.

belum puas berkasih.
belum habis aku bersayang.
belum cukup mengadu domba.
masih.
belum.

mahu jugak kau pergi.
jauh benar kau lari.
apa badan ku hitam berdaki?
hingga laju biar aku sendiri?

menangis.
aku.
berhabis sedu.
hanya kau bilang.
'maaf sayang.setahun lagi nanti'

berkaca.
jernih.
mata.
berkecai.
seribu.
hati.

benar.
aku sudah jatuh cinta.

terlalu jatuh sampai aku merana.
setahun itu tidak lama.
tapi cukup buat aku lupa.
maka.
jangan pergi.sayang.

kira boleh.
aku titipkan.kata.
akan aku tarik kau rapat-rapat.
erat-erat.
cukup.
untuk perlahan aku bicara.

'jangan pergi dulu.Ramadhan.tolong.jangan'.

agony in a farewell.

to bid farewell.
is.agony.

seeing you.
walking away.
like you never stayed.
that.is.
misery.

too short of a stay.
you stayed.
time is indeed relative.
and how i wish.i owned it.

you.will.be.leaving.again.
and i will be shattered.
again.

its not easy to not fall in love with you.
if i could put in into a sonnet.
for you.
the longest.it will be.

if i could wrap you in my arms.
i would hold you tight.
as tight as i want God.
to hold my heart.

but.
destiny.
has been written.
and if it is written.
that i shall not see you again.
i bid the longest farewell to you. . .



my Ramadhan.

patiently.i shall wait.
in loyalty.and in debt.

my footsteps.at those places.

if i could choose a place to stay.i'd pick this place.

a small house between the valleys with chimney on it.

-Interlaken.2012- 

if i could choose a place to watch the sunset.i'd pick this place.

  a cool late afternoon with a hand to hold close.

-Florence.2012- 

if i could choose a place to walk aimlessly.i'd pick this place.

a nice pair of shoes.with a partner to walk with.

-Venice.2012-

if i could just choose a place to sit and look.i'd pick this place.

an old wooden bench with a nice ice lemon tea.

-Bern.2012-

if i could choose a place to die.i'd pick this place.

a small grave by the side with a head stone on it.

-Mecca.2012-

and . . . 

if i could choose a place to end at.i'd pick this place.

with God by the side.and a heart that is calm.

-Heaven.infinity-

travel far and away.there will always be a better place to be at.
and its called.

Heaven.

'And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth. . . ' [3:133]

insyaAllah.

tak adil!

'kenapa.kalau dah diberi hidup aku ni.
kenapa tak mati kan aja  saat aku tak dapat apa yang aku nak'

bilang orang.

dan ini.
bilang aku.


percayalah.


kalau semua benda perlu Allah terangkan dalam hidup ini.
maka siapa Tuhan.siapa hamba?


hidup ini.
kalau kita tengok.


memang tak adil.
ada yang hidup senang.
ada yang nak hidup pun susah.


tapi.itu kalau kita tengok hidup ini dengan mata kita.
bukan dengan hati.


hidup ini adil.
sangat adil.
kenapa?
sebab yang merancang hidup ini.
adalah si Dia yang Maha Adil.


tapi kita ni manusia.
teralalu gopoh untuk berhenti lihat.
yang sebenarnya.
semua benda yang telah Allah rancang.
semua nya teratur.


cuma kita ini.terlalu buta.untuk.perasan.


tahulah.


orang yang miskin.itu.
diberi miskin.
sebab ada nya sifat sabar.


dan orang yang kaya itu.
diberi kaya.
sebab ada nya sifat pemurah.


adil itu bukan macam mengagih beras.
mengikut takar.
tapi adil itu pada benda yang terlalu halus untuk kita sedar dan lihat.


'aku ni miskin.susah aja hidup.mana ada adil ni'


kalau lah Allah itu tak adil.
tak akan Dia susul kan kemiskinan itu dengan
ketabahan.
kesabaran.
dan yang penting.

jaminan syurga.

'aku ni sakit.susah aja hidup.nanti mati juga.kalau adil kenapalah dihidupkan'

kalau lah Allah itu tidak adil.
tak akan diberi nafas.
tak akan diberi masa untuk bertungkus lumus.
untuk ada sabar dalam sakit.
sebab yang penting.

jaminan syurga.

'aku ni bodoh.belajar pun tak pandai.kalau lahir hanya semata-mata jadi supir.apa adil itu'

kalau lah Allah itu tidak adil.
tak akan diwujudkan rasa bersyukur dan redha.
pada tiap hati makhluk yang degil.
sungguh yang penting.

jaminan syurga.

 'aku ni kaya.semuanya ada.buat apalah aku hidup lagi.ini semua adil ke'

kalau lah Allah itu tidak adil.
tak akan pernah ada perkataan sedekah.
amal khusus.yang hanya buat makhlukNya yang kikir.
pasti yang penting.

jaminan syurga.

semua nya memang dah adil. cuma manusia yang tak pernah adil dalam hidup yang penuh adil ini.

miskin itu diberi.dan diganti sabar.
tapi ada yang tak sabar.
jadi.
mana mungkin.
manisnya adil.
dapat dirasa.

sakit itu diberi.dan diganti masa.
tapi masa yang ada tak pernah diambil kira.
jadi.
mana mungkin.
manisnya adil.
dapat dirasa.

 kebodohan diberi.diganti dengan syukur.
tapi apa yang masih ada.belum lagi mewujudkan syukur.
jadi.
mana mungkin.
manisnya adil.
dapat dirasa.

jangan kita bilang Allah itu penghukum.
yang mencipta dunia hanya sekadar mainan.

sebab sungguh.
kalau lah dunia ini tak Dia ciptakan.
mana mungkin kita tahu apa itu mainan.

apa yang Allah rancangkan.
berhenti kita soal.
sebab kalau lah memang kita ini hebat.
nyata sekali.kitalah Tuhan.
dan bukan Dia.

berhenti.simpan dendam pada Pencipta.
Dia terlalu baik.untuk dibalas dengan cara yang itu.
jangan jadi si gopoh yang melihat dunia hanya bagai.perhentian yang akhir.

kalau masih susah juga hidup ini Allah beri.
senyum.
sebab sudah dijanji.
syurga itu lebih menyenangkan.
bagi mereka yang mahu.

'....boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang Mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya. '

Baqarah.216.

what is it Neb????

Few days back.
Somebody had the courage to ask me.
In a very curious tone.
'Neb.what do you know about jodoh'

great.another unsolved question that i was asked to answer.
silently.i spoke.

'well.it depends on what you want to know about jodoh'

'EVERYTHING' the person said.

and so.
with His names.Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim.
i begin.
answering.

putting my opinions as close as possible.
because.
if you want facts.
this is not the post you should be reading.
full.stop.

---------------

'so.jodoh eh?'
i said.with sweats and gulps. 

to me.
jodoh.
is a beautiful secret.of Allah.
that if we were to trade it with the whole world.
still.
it wouldn't suffice to its beauty.
that.
is.
jodoh.

a mother.mothering a child.
is a jodoh.

a friend.becoming friends.
is a jodoh.

a teacher teaching a student.
is a jodoh.

and the most famous one.
a man to wed a woman.
is also a jodoh.

a point of meet.
that Allah have made possible.
yes.
to begin with.
that is jodoh.
according to me.

'ok.now explain further on that man and woman thing'
the person asked.

aahhhh.... i grinned.
not surprised.
not surprised.at all.
this has always been the most famous ponder of all amongst human kinds.
the LOVE jodoh.i call it.

with partial confidence of knowledge.
and full confidence of honesty.
i answered.
--------
imagine you are walking in a crowd of 7 billion people.
packed.

and for that split moment.
out of that 7 billion people.
you bumped into that one particular person.
that one person.that you would remember.

now.
that.is jodoh.

take that analogy.
and bring it back to reality.

all these years we are living.
encountering hundreds of people.
making acquaintances to many others.
having countless amount of friends.

all of that is jodoh.
written by Allah.
many years ago.
it has all been written.
that at one point in life.
we'll meet this person.and that person.
such and such.
and so.
jodoh.
marks the point right when you first meet the person.
be it.a brief meet.
or a long one.
without that first meet.
that Allah has made possible.
it would not be considered as jodoh.
in the first place.

and so.
if you ask.
do i believe in.
'jodoh tidak akan datang bergolek' ?

i would say.
no.

because.
i do believe jodoh.datang bergolek.

the first bump.
the first hello.
the first salam.
the first look.

everything.
has been planned  out by Allah.
and as we all know.everything that Allah has planned.
we can never distort.

'Then,what happens to the process of jodoh itself?wouldn't that be considered as jodoh too?'

again i was asked.
and i pondered for a while.
trying to find an easier way to make everything makes sense.

and so.i said.

get inside a car.
drive it to a place.
any place you want.
and arrive. there.

now.we relate.

the possibility to drive that car.
is the gift of jodoh from Allah.
the way we handle our driving.
is our effort to value that jodoh.
arriving at the destination.
is the reward from Allah.
and.
the destination itself.
is the indicator.of how we handle our drive.


i believe.
everything that happens between it.
it is all left to us.
jodoh.will still come.
in what so ever way.
even without us looking for it.
and in between all of it.that is.
attempt.

what we need to be doing.
is not to worry about the car.and the destination.

what we should be doing. 
is to focus on the drive itself and getting to the destination.

to preserve all the meets that Allah planned.
with the ones we have met.meeting.and to meet.

at the end of the day.
everyone will get into a car.
we just need to learn how to drive.and that is all.
so that when we arrive at the destination.
it'll be a worth while destination.
to arrive at.

preserve your jodoh with your parents.
so that they remain as your parents till Jannah.

preserve your jodoh with your friends.
so that you hold hands  with them in Jannah.

and.

preserve your jodoh with everyone you meet.
because you never know.
they might be the one.guiding you to Jannah.

remember.
everything that starts well.
ends well.

and to me.
the thing that makes is so beautiful.
about jodoh.
is that.
it is very much unknown.
but there lies.
good assurance.
in it.
worry not. :)

even years.

even after years.

your first hye.
and your last goodbye.

will.
still.
affect me.

with conscious.
and subconsciously.

it will.

and i would trade my world.
to change all that.
just so i know.
my memory.

is forever clean.

from.
the thought.of.you.

10 tonnes.

i miss Allah.

honestly.
truthfully.
sincerely.

i miss Him.

10 tonnes heavy.
10 tonnes heavy was my heart when i woke up this morning.
for no solid reason.
i just want to crawl deep into my veins.
and swim right to my heart.and say.

'hush.little heart.why the frown face?'

i miss Allah.
she says.
i just miss Him.
so bad.

'And know that Allah comes in between a person and his heart' [8:24]

and if this is a way.
just the way.
so that i will miss You in whatever way.
then.
let my heart be 10 tonnes heavy.
for every morning i wake.
so that i know.
You are that something.
that special something.
that comes in between me.
and my heart.

oh Allah.
without this obscure.
consciousness.
i.
wouldn't.
have remembered you.

so.
thank You.
----------------------------

sometimes.
there will be a day.
even if we are the king.
that owns the wealth and the loyalty of the earth.
still.that foreign feeling.
indescribable by words.
comes to visit.

just.be pleased.
it might be Allah.
wanting  you to miss Him.

insyaAllah.