Jika mereka sibuk mencari KECINTAAN . .
Biarlah kita sibuk mencari KEIMANAN . .
Jika mereka sibuk mencari PASANGAN . .
Biarlah kita sibuk mencari KEREDHAAN . .
Jika mereka menangis kerana kecewa BERCINTA . .
Biar kita menangis kerana mengingati dosa-dosa . .
Jika mereka cintakan kemanusiaan . .
biar kita cintakan ALLAH .
-baitul muslim-
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
"Lelaki, jgn terlalu murah engkau dlm berbicara dan jgn terlalu mudah engkau mengucapkan kata2 'I LOVE YOU' atau 'I MISS YOU' kpd seseorang wanita kerana engkau pun tahu wanita itu sangat rapuh hatinya dan mudah goyah imannya. Jika kau ikhlas ingin memiliki mereka, maka datangilah wali mereka dan pinanglah mereka dgn lafaz Bismillah..-syahirul.com"
you.
a letter to you.
dear you,
i know that you have to leave.
and i know that at one point i must let you go.
but this time.losing you gets painful and more painful each time.
we have known each other for years.
and yet.each year,i mistreated you.
and this time.losing you gets painful and more painful than ever.
so to dear you,i will never know when is our next time.
it is not of me to decide.
and my will is up to loving you,and the rest i shall leave it to the one that created you and I.
so to dearest you,
my prayers will start and will never stop.
until that one day we are join again.
for i want you to be there every step of the way of everyday.
so on your way back,please do stop and tell your friend.
help me with life.be there for my tears and joy.
like you did.
for i will cry.and i will smile.like i did.
and lastly,to dearest of dearest of dearest you,
thank you is the only word i have.
may it worth more than just words to you.
for now.i really do love you.
finally......to you......its goodbye now......really...goodbye now...Ramadhan..
p/s : Ramadhan has walked away.pray that it left us with a precious gift.a gift of a stronger love to the one and only one Creator.
so long Ramadhan.may we meet again.....insyaAllah.. :)
dear you,
i know that you have to leave.
and i know that at one point i must let you go.
but this time.losing you gets painful and more painful each time.
we have known each other for years.
and yet.each year,i mistreated you.
and this time.losing you gets painful and more painful than ever.
so to dear you,i will never know when is our next time.
it is not of me to decide.
and my will is up to loving you,and the rest i shall leave it to the one that created you and I.
so to dearest you,
my prayers will start and will never stop.
until that one day we are join again.
for i want you to be there every step of the way of everyday.
so on your way back,please do stop and tell your friend.
help me with life.be there for my tears and joy.
like you did.
for i will cry.and i will smile.like i did.
and lastly,to dearest of dearest of dearest you,
thank you is the only word i have.
may it worth more than just words to you.
for now.i really do love you.
finally......to you......its goodbye now......really...goodbye now...Ramadhan..
p/s : Ramadhan has walked away.pray that it left us with a precious gift.a gift of a stronger love to the one and only one Creator.
so long Ramadhan.may we meet again.....insyaAllah.. :)
Sunday, August 28, 2011
the cry in joy.
Sunday it is.
it was a long night for me.it was not close to a deep slumber at all.and i woke up with an eye bag.followed by a delusional time frame that it is still night.when it is not.
and if you are wondering.what could have kept Neb semi awake in the middle of a silent night?
if you answer.she was praying to God.
then you would be wrong.
if you answer.she was reciting the Quran.
then you would be wrong again.
if you answer she was praising God with endless dzkir.
then you would be wrong.still.
and if you answer she was just simply keeping God close to her heart.the whole night.
then you would still be.very wrong.again.
because the fact is.she didn't do all that.she was just laying on the bed.turning her body left and right.trying to find the best position there is.
while turning off the alarm for every half an hour from 2 in the morning.
because.............
she refused to meet God that night.
and.......she was.......simply.the whole definition of what wasteful is.
with 1 day left before this beautiful month ends.i wasted it on a slumber.that was not even deep.
too soon to end.i whispered.but it remained just a whisper.because.this heart i have,is still not white.this heart i have is still black.
and i sigh with regret.and i wept remorsefully.because knowing without doing anything.is simply...what wasting is.
so.to Ramadhan that will soon end.
for the first time.i truly understand what appreciation is.because.
i appreciate you.so much so that i don't want you to pass.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for me to appreciate.
so to Ramadhan that will soon end.
my final word.is thank you.
greatest gratitude for being there.to battle with my transgress self.and i fear that it would be even harder when you end.
because.not just myself I'm battling with after this.but syaitan will be there too.every step there is to take.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for me to have you by my side.
so to Ramadhan that will soon end.
be it another year to come.i will wait.
may that God whom created you and I let us meet again.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for us to never part.
and finally to Ramadhan that will soon end.in a day.
may i remember how much you worth.for when we meet again.
i shall greet you with full honour.
because......you deserve nothing less than that.
and i hope you would be more that just 30 days of blessings.for i want to greet you everyday.
let this entry be a reminder to my own self.to really make that one day left worth more than the rest of 28 days that passed.
since i will never know when is my next.
finally.to all muslims.my wish to you is Happy Eid.and my hope for you is that you had the best Ramadhan you have ever had.and the most moderate Eid you will soon celebrate.
and not to forget.to all Malaysians out there.Selamat Hari Merdeka.
Lets free ourselves from the sins that we committed,because that is what freedom really is.
salam.
it was a long night for me.it was not close to a deep slumber at all.and i woke up with an eye bag.followed by a delusional time frame that it is still night.when it is not.
and if you are wondering.what could have kept Neb semi awake in the middle of a silent night?
if you answer.she was praying to God.
then you would be wrong.
if you answer.she was reciting the Quran.
then you would be wrong again.
if you answer she was praising God with endless dzkir.
then you would be wrong.still.
and if you answer she was just simply keeping God close to her heart.the whole night.
then you would still be.very wrong.again.
because the fact is.she didn't do all that.she was just laying on the bed.turning her body left and right.trying to find the best position there is.
while turning off the alarm for every half an hour from 2 in the morning.
because.............
she refused to meet God that night.
and.......she was.......simply.the whole definition of what wasteful is.
with 1 day left before this beautiful month ends.i wasted it on a slumber.that was not even deep.
too soon to end.i whispered.but it remained just a whisper.because.this heart i have,is still not white.this heart i have is still black.
and i sigh with regret.and i wept remorsefully.because knowing without doing anything.is simply...what wasting is.
so.to Ramadhan that will soon end.
for the first time.i truly understand what appreciation is.because.
i appreciate you.so much so that i don't want you to pass.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for me to appreciate.
so to Ramadhan that will soon end.
my final word.is thank you.
greatest gratitude for being there.to battle with my transgress self.and i fear that it would be even harder when you end.
because.not just myself I'm battling with after this.but syaitan will be there too.every step there is to take.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for me to have you by my side.
so to Ramadhan that will soon end.
be it another year to come.i will wait.
may that God whom created you and I let us meet again.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for us to never part.
and finally to Ramadhan that will soon end.in a day.
may i remember how much you worth.for when we meet again.
i shall greet you with full honour.
because......you deserve nothing less than that.
and i hope you would be more that just 30 days of blessings.for i want to greet you everyday.
let this entry be a reminder to my own self.to really make that one day left worth more than the rest of 28 days that passed.
since i will never know when is my next.
finally.to all muslims.my wish to you is Happy Eid.and my hope for you is that you had the best Ramadhan you have ever had.and the most moderate Eid you will soon celebrate.
and not to forget.to all Malaysians out there.Selamat Hari Merdeka.
Lets free ourselves from the sins that we committed,because that is what freedom really is.
salam.
Friday, August 26, 2011
words...
nice quotes i found today.and may it touches your heart like it touched mine.
“Aku suka kepada orang-orang soleh, padahal aku bukan termasuk golongan mereka. Harapanku hanyalah agar aku juga mendapat syafaat, kelak bila bersama mereka. Dan aku benci orang-orang yang menjadikan maksiat sebagai perniagaan mereka dalam hidup ini, walaupun aku sendiri mungkin seperti mereka yang melakukan maksiat tersebut.” – Imam As-Syafi'ie"
"Siapalah si tudung labuh yang merasa dirinya mulia? Walau bertudung labuh jangan kau anggap dirimu hebat, maksum atau mulia. Jangan kau riak dan ujub. Jangan kau fikir org lain tidak setaraf. Jangan kau rasa dirimu sudah mendapat tiket ke syurga. Lupakah? Bahawa ibadat dan amalan yang kau kumpul tak bererti apa-apa jika niatmu bukan kerana Allah. Niatmu untuk menunjuk-nunjuk, maka kau akan malu tertunduk di depan Allah kelak. Sia-sia sahaja! DAN siapalah kau si perempuan pendedah aurat yang merasa dirimu akan selamat? Yang mahu bergantung harap pada syafaat Nabi. Yang merasa diri cukup baik walaupun aurat terdedah. Yang berangan-angan akan syurga tetapi enggan patuh. Jangan kau fikir Allah mahu memandang sifat baikmu jika arahan dan hakNya kau ketepikan, usah kau mimpi dan angkuh! Siapakah kau si tudung labuh dan si pendedah aurat? Jangan mudah-mudah kau fikir kau akan selamat selagi kau tidak menganggap dunia ini penjara buatmu.-syahirul.com"
"Mudahnya wahai lelaki, kamu kata “Sejahat-jahat aku, aku ingin bernikah dengan perempuan baik-baik, bukan yang macam awek aku sekarang”. Percakapan kamu seakan-akan wanita baik-baik tiada hak bersuamikan lelaki baik, seakan-akan wanita tiada hak memilih, seperti kamu yang buat semua keputusan. Jangan mimpi nak jadikan wanita solehah sebagai isteri jika kamu jahat kerana mereka berhak mendapat suami soleh. Pergi! Siapkan diri kamu dengan agama sebelum nak kahwin dengan wanita solehah!-syahirul.com"
"Antara tanda lelaki itu baik adalah dia TIDAK AKAN PERNAH MEMBICARAKAN SOAL SEKS ATAU YANG MENAIKKAN SYAHWAT denganmu sama ada melalui sms, telefon atau berdepan, SELAGIMANA DIA belum bernikah denganmu. Mana-mana lelaki yang membicarakannya atau meminta sebelum bernikah adalah lelaki jahat dan tidak layak dijadikan suami atau itulah bakal suami penzina, kecuali apabila mereka juga bertaubat.-syahirul.com"
I tell the boys and girls: "Allah has already written the names of your spouses for you, what you need to work on is your relationship with Allah s.w.t. He will send her/him to you when you're ready. It is only a matter of time." (sheikh mamdouh)"
Nabi s.a.w bersabda: “Sebaik-baik saf lelaki adalah yang paling hadapan dan yang paling buruk adalah yang paling belakang. Dan sebaik-baik saf bagi wanita adalah yang paling belakang, yang terburuk bagi mereka adalah yang paling depan.” (H.R. Muslim, 2/435, no. 664)
DEAR ISLAM
My dear Islam
I'm so sorry
that in my heart,
your state is awry.
In shame my head I bury.
All things I think I can get in hurry.
But now I discover I should less worry.
My dear Islam I feel sad.
Because my heart to you have been hard.
I've discovered the need to be though.
On my soul lest it becomes soft.
For evils and sins to lodge.
-Islamic Poetry Today
"Masih memaparkan atau simpan gambar bersama pasangan yang bukan mahram dalam keadaan rapat, berdua, boleh menimbulkan fitnah? Buanglah, anda takkan rugi.. Yang halal itu jelas, yang haram itu jelas..-syahirul.com"
“Aku suka kepada orang-orang soleh, padahal aku bukan termasuk golongan mereka. Harapanku hanyalah agar aku juga mendapat syafaat, kelak bila bersama mereka. Dan aku benci orang-orang yang menjadikan maksiat sebagai perniagaan mereka dalam hidup ini, walaupun aku sendiri mungkin seperti mereka yang melakukan maksiat tersebut.” – Imam As-Syafi'ie"
"Siapalah si tudung labuh yang merasa dirinya mulia? Walau bertudung labuh jangan kau anggap dirimu hebat, maksum atau mulia. Jangan kau riak dan ujub. Jangan kau fikir org lain tidak setaraf. Jangan kau rasa dirimu sudah mendapat tiket ke syurga. Lupakah? Bahawa ibadat dan amalan yang kau kumpul tak bererti apa-apa jika niatmu bukan kerana Allah. Niatmu untuk menunjuk-nunjuk, maka kau akan malu tertunduk di depan Allah kelak. Sia-sia sahaja! DAN siapalah kau si perempuan pendedah aurat yang merasa dirimu akan selamat? Yang mahu bergantung harap pada syafaat Nabi. Yang merasa diri cukup baik walaupun aurat terdedah. Yang berangan-angan akan syurga tetapi enggan patuh. Jangan kau fikir Allah mahu memandang sifat baikmu jika arahan dan hakNya kau ketepikan, usah kau mimpi dan angkuh! Siapakah kau si tudung labuh dan si pendedah aurat? Jangan mudah-mudah kau fikir kau akan selamat selagi kau tidak menganggap dunia ini penjara buatmu.-syahirul.com"
"Mudahnya wahai lelaki, kamu kata “Sejahat-jahat aku, aku ingin bernikah dengan perempuan baik-baik, bukan yang macam awek aku sekarang”. Percakapan kamu seakan-akan wanita baik-baik tiada hak bersuamikan lelaki baik, seakan-akan wanita tiada hak memilih, seperti kamu yang buat semua keputusan. Jangan mimpi nak jadikan wanita solehah sebagai isteri jika kamu jahat kerana mereka berhak mendapat suami soleh. Pergi! Siapkan diri kamu dengan agama sebelum nak kahwin dengan wanita solehah!-syahirul.com"
"Antara tanda lelaki itu baik adalah dia TIDAK AKAN PERNAH MEMBICARAKAN SOAL SEKS ATAU YANG MENAIKKAN SYAHWAT denganmu sama ada melalui sms, telefon atau berdepan, SELAGIMANA DIA belum bernikah denganmu. Mana-mana lelaki yang membicarakannya atau meminta sebelum bernikah adalah lelaki jahat dan tidak layak dijadikan suami atau itulah bakal suami penzina, kecuali apabila mereka juga bertaubat.-syahirul.com"
I tell the boys and girls: "Allah has already written the names of your spouses for you, what you need to work on is your relationship with Allah s.w.t. He will send her/him to you when you're ready. It is only a matter of time." (sheikh mamdouh)"
Nabi s.a.w bersabda: “Sebaik-baik saf lelaki adalah yang paling hadapan dan yang paling buruk adalah yang paling belakang. Dan sebaik-baik saf bagi wanita adalah yang paling belakang, yang terburuk bagi mereka adalah yang paling depan.” (H.R. Muslim, 2/435, no. 664)
DEAR ISLAM
My dear Islam
I'm so sorry
that in my heart,
your state is awry.
In shame my head I bury.
All things I think I can get in hurry.
But now I discover I should less worry.
My dear Islam I feel sad.
Because my heart to you have been hard.
I've discovered the need to be though.
On my soul lest it becomes soft.
For evils and sins to lodge.
-Islamic Poetry Today
"Masih memaparkan atau simpan gambar bersama pasangan yang bukan mahram dalam keadaan rapat, berdua, boleh menimbulkan fitnah? Buanglah, anda takkan rugi.. Yang halal itu jelas, yang haram itu jelas..-syahirul.com"
a start.
minutes.hours.days.and weeks.passed.
and i realized i have abandoned this writing path for too long.forgive me for having ridiculous posts few days behind.indeed most are ridiculous and very little are amazing.or maybe none.so this time needless to say it is not ridiculously amazing.at all.
so i figured i shall stop the video posting and shall actually write.no more hiding behind songs.my words should worth more than some random melody i heard.after all.i want to speak for Allah don't i?
so to keep things updated.i have been well.and the start of this week was rejuvenating indeed.and may my story of a week begin with a far away kept feelings of Riya' (ostentation) and Ujub (vanity) for i am telling for the sake of sharing. :)
so for this week.i started of Monday and Tuesday quite different.something i have never done before.something i would have never been labelled for.i decided to join a group of wonderful people on a program.and in spite of being skeptical and scared of something that is very foreign.for which i am really.i managed to push that away.and pulled myself together.the program was held in a mosque.an architecturally simple but beautiful mosque.to me.
this may be ordinary to most.but for me.this is something very.very new.indeed.to be honest.the longest time i have stayed in a mosque is practically when u add the time of taking a wudhu' (ablution) and the time you take to pray. (a very fast pray.before) yes.that was the longest.and this time.to be able to be in a mosque for more than 10 minutes and at the same time to be surrounded by amazing people that speak of God.was not simply a choice.i made.but a gift.He gave.
and indeed it was.vitalizing for this low level of iman i own..indeed.
and for that two days i spent.mixed feelings filled this empty vessel i carried along with.a feeling of nervous.but yet calm.a feeling of empty.but yet content.a feeling of strained.but yet safe.
in all.i was simply drowned in seas of confusion.and i question myself relentlessly.
how did i get here?
the feeling of.
nervous for being surrounded by these group of people.that value life.but not as much as they value the life after life.
yet calm.for being able to be close to them....for me.to follow.
empty.for knowing i have so little knowledge to share.and what i know worth less than a speck of dust.compared to what they have.
yet.content.for knowing that for the first time in life.i truly value knowledge.knowledge of Him.
strained.for having to cope with such new milieu.that i was never introduced to.
yet.safe.for having to know.there are people out there.that i can simply reach.and ask.and this time.i know where to look for.
when everything ended.as i was sitting in a train.on my way to go back.i began to analyse everything.and even though there are things that i didn't manage to grasp fully along those two days.(because being a newbie is not easy) one thing that i am sure of.is that.
'Neb.....you are indeed lucky'
and i smiled.
so to 2 days.may you be a start to many days ahead... :)
because 'how did i get here?' has now changed to....'how can i get there again?'
and i realized i have abandoned this writing path for too long.forgive me for having ridiculous posts few days behind.indeed most are ridiculous and very little are amazing.or maybe none.so this time needless to say it is not ridiculously amazing.at all.
so i figured i shall stop the video posting and shall actually write.no more hiding behind songs.my words should worth more than some random melody i heard.after all.i want to speak for Allah don't i?
so to keep things updated.i have been well.and the start of this week was rejuvenating indeed.and may my story of a week begin with a far away kept feelings of Riya' (ostentation) and Ujub (vanity) for i am telling for the sake of sharing. :)
so for this week.i started of Monday and Tuesday quite different.something i have never done before.something i would have never been labelled for.i decided to join a group of wonderful people on a program.and in spite of being skeptical and scared of something that is very foreign.for which i am really.i managed to push that away.and pulled myself together.the program was held in a mosque.an architecturally simple but beautiful mosque.to me.
this may be ordinary to most.but for me.this is something very.very new.indeed.to be honest.the longest time i have stayed in a mosque is practically when u add the time of taking a wudhu' (ablution) and the time you take to pray. (a very fast pray.before) yes.that was the longest.and this time.to be able to be in a mosque for more than 10 minutes and at the same time to be surrounded by amazing people that speak of God.was not simply a choice.i made.but a gift.He gave.
and indeed it was.vitalizing for this low level of iman i own..indeed.
and for that two days i spent.mixed feelings filled this empty vessel i carried along with.a feeling of nervous.but yet calm.a feeling of empty.but yet content.a feeling of strained.but yet safe.
in all.i was simply drowned in seas of confusion.and i question myself relentlessly.
how did i get here?
the feeling of.
nervous for being surrounded by these group of people.that value life.but not as much as they value the life after life.
yet calm.for being able to be close to them....for me.to follow.
empty.for knowing i have so little knowledge to share.and what i know worth less than a speck of dust.compared to what they have.
yet.content.for knowing that for the first time in life.i truly value knowledge.knowledge of Him.
strained.for having to cope with such new milieu.that i was never introduced to.
yet.safe.for having to know.there are people out there.that i can simply reach.and ask.and this time.i know where to look for.
when everything ended.as i was sitting in a train.on my way to go back.i began to analyse everything.and even though there are things that i didn't manage to grasp fully along those two days.(because being a newbie is not easy) one thing that i am sure of.is that.
'Neb.....you are indeed lucky'
and i smiled.
so to 2 days.may you be a start to many days ahead... :)
because 'how did i get here?' has now changed to....'how can i get there again?'
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Zivilia ~ Aishiteru (HD Video Clip)
a random song i heard on the radio this morning.and i thought hey.i might be the lamest person on earth for liking this.but who cares. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
silent sin.
oh my Allah.if i have sinned,forgive me.
and if i haven't keep me far away from it.
to all.i feel like sharing this.for i feel so near to this sin once.
and in hope may you people are miles away from it.
Monday, August 15, 2011
the 100th day.
Imam Ghazali once said,
" Find your heart when you read the Quran.If you find it not,find it in your prayers.If you still find it not in your prayers,discover it in your remembrance of death.and if you still couldn't.Pray to Allah for a new heart "
day 100.
is something short.and.brief.
finally.a journey of finding a God in a heart ends with a final letter.
a letter to a heart.my heart.
So to dear heart of mine,
100 days of searching.
100 days of lessons.
100 days of cleansing.
100 days of a journey.
have passed.
to a search of a better purpose.
to lessons of worth learning.
to a cleanse of once filthy state.
and
to a journey of finding a Creator.
one reminder remained still.
to heart.
keep yourself near.
and not let it stray.
remember to remember.
to not let one name fade away.
and that name.is..
Allah.
finally, with love and care,
myself.
" Find your heart when you read the Quran.If you find it not,find it in your prayers.If you still find it not in your prayers,discover it in your remembrance of death.and if you still couldn't.Pray to Allah for a new heart "
day 100.
is something short.and.brief.
finally.a journey of finding a God in a heart ends with a final letter.
a letter to a heart.my heart.
So to dear heart of mine,
100 days of searching.
100 days of lessons.
100 days of cleansing.
100 days of a journey.
have passed.
to a search of a better purpose.
to lessons of worth learning.
to a cleanse of once filthy state.
and
to a journey of finding a Creator.
one reminder remained still.
to heart.
keep yourself near.
and not let it stray.
remember to remember.
to not let one name fade away.
and that name.is..
Allah.
finally, with love and care,
myself.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
You are nearer to me than i am.
day 99.
is.
days without writing for i have not been well.
but will soon be fine.for i have a God to rely on.insyaAllah.
so being sick for the past few days meant that the only thing i did was laying on the bed and exploring myself.
and this time,it struck me.how little i know of myself.very little indeed.
so for many days,quiet evenings on the bed accompanied me and a feeling of remorseful became closer to me than ever.
simply because,i know not myself as how i did before.
in fact,among 7 billion people,i may be the one who knows the least about myself.
and indeed i am aghast by this foreign fact.
so for many days,i tried to get to know myself.that many years of myself that i missed to know.
that many years of myself that i thought i knew.
from there i wondered and pondered.what happened?why is this so?
why did i find myself as a stranger that i know?
and a feeling of unsatisfied with this idea began to consume me.
and through out the process of digesting this,i came across a verse,
"And indeed We created man and We know what his soul whispers within him, and We are nearer to him than even his jugular vein" [Qaf,16]
and then.to all the unsatisfied questions i had,was answered by just a single verse.
a feeling of embarrassment filled me.
how shameful it is to think that i know better.
by the end of it,i am left with nothing but a pseudo stand.
a stand of believing that no one else would know me better except myself.
and after many days of silence,after many days of battling a conversation with my own heart.
i was defeated by the ignorance of my oneself.
and indeed.this time.even i.
stand in the path of not knowing.my own heart.
and that indeed,
taught me really well how arrogant i was in trying to define myself,when the fact is,i am just one of many creations of God,and my duty is to submit not to judge.even to my self.
so to many days of quiet evenings,i learnt.
that organ i thought i owned,that organ i thought i knew, and that organ i thought is the nearest to me.
my heart.
was not mine to own.
was so little that i knew.
and was not as near as God to it.
sometimes we humans forget,and through out living this life,we tend to claim things that aren't ours.things that never were.never are.and never will be.
even that closest thing to me.the thing that defines me.the thing that made me who i am.the thing that is inside of me.covered by MY ribs.sealed by MY skin.which is MY heart.
is NOT even mine.
let alone other things out there.
so imagine how insignificant we have made ourselves.to think that we possess what ever we see.what ever we hear.what ever we speak of.and what ever we FEEL.when the fact is.........
we are nothing but a speck of dust in a wide open air.
if that is so.many days of pondering made me think.....
why is there still a need to boast?
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me. -Imam Al-Ghazali
is.
days without writing for i have not been well.
but will soon be fine.for i have a God to rely on.insyaAllah.
so being sick for the past few days meant that the only thing i did was laying on the bed and exploring myself.
and this time,it struck me.how little i know of myself.very little indeed.
so for many days,quiet evenings on the bed accompanied me and a feeling of remorseful became closer to me than ever.
simply because,i know not myself as how i did before.
in fact,among 7 billion people,i may be the one who knows the least about myself.
and indeed i am aghast by this foreign fact.
so for many days,i tried to get to know myself.that many years of myself that i missed to know.
that many years of myself that i thought i knew.
from there i wondered and pondered.what happened?why is this so?
why did i find myself as a stranger that i know?
and a feeling of unsatisfied with this idea began to consume me.
and through out the process of digesting this,i came across a verse,
"And indeed We created man and We know what his soul whispers within him, and We are nearer to him than even his jugular vein" [Qaf,16]
and then.to all the unsatisfied questions i had,was answered by just a single verse.
a feeling of embarrassment filled me.
how shameful it is to think that i know better.
by the end of it,i am left with nothing but a pseudo stand.
a stand of believing that no one else would know me better except myself.
and after many days of silence,after many days of battling a conversation with my own heart.
i was defeated by the ignorance of my oneself.
and indeed.this time.even i.
stand in the path of not knowing.my own heart.
and that indeed,
taught me really well how arrogant i was in trying to define myself,when the fact is,i am just one of many creations of God,and my duty is to submit not to judge.even to my self.
so to many days of quiet evenings,i learnt.
that organ i thought i owned,that organ i thought i knew, and that organ i thought is the nearest to me.
my heart.
was not mine to own.
was so little that i knew.
and was not as near as God to it.
sometimes we humans forget,and through out living this life,we tend to claim things that aren't ours.things that never were.never are.and never will be.
even that closest thing to me.the thing that defines me.the thing that made me who i am.the thing that is inside of me.covered by MY ribs.sealed by MY skin.which is MY heart.
is NOT even mine.
let alone other things out there.
so imagine how insignificant we have made ourselves.to think that we possess what ever we see.what ever we hear.what ever we speak of.and what ever we FEEL.when the fact is.........
we are nothing but a speck of dust in a wide open air.
if that is so.many days of pondering made me think.....
why is there still a need to boast?
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me. -Imam Al-Ghazali
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
David Choi - Won't Even Start - Official Video
What happened after last summer
When we broke up in September
I haven't seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by
I still got a piece of you under my skin
It's always there no matter where I've been
BRIDGE:
So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
CHORUS:
Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that'll break my heart
So I won't even start
No, I won't even start
I wish you luck
And I wish it true
That's the best
I can do for you
'Cause you'll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah, it's hard to do
So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know it'll cut me like a knife
BRIDGE:
So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
CHORUS:
Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that'll break my heart
So I won't even start
No, I won't even start
I'll be okay
I'll be okay- That's what I'll Say
BRIDGE:
So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
CHORUS:
Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that'll break my heart
So I won't even start
No, I won't even start
No, I wont even start
Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/david-choi-lyrics-wont-even-start-52wf4mb#ixzz1TsJ9abXG
LetsSingIt - Your favorite Music Community
berpura pura itu dusta?
day 98.
is a day i decided to embrace my language.and today i realised.a person can change physically and the humans' eyes can be fooled easily.but God is not a fool.so for what we show physically,His eyes see what we actually are,emotionally.so here.for a quiet 2nd day of Ramadhan,malay words accompanied my keyboard....
apa yang diperlakukan oleh seorang manusia.
cukuplah Allah yang melihatnya.
dusta itu satu dosa.
namun lebih dosa jika dusta dibelakang nama.
atas nama Allah kita berpura-pura.
manusia itu tidak lebih dari seorang hamba.
jadi kenapa perlu lebih kan dunia?
manusia itu senang lupa.
jadi kenapa perlu berbangga?
apa yang ada bukan milik kita.
apa yang ada pinjaman semata.
jadi besihkan anggota dari bersangka.
bahawa dunia untuk selamanya.
manusia.
jangan diikut keinginin sentiasa.
sebab apa yang perlu lebih bermakna.
hanya yang perlu,perlu dibawa.
jadi doa pada Dia.
jadikan diri ini bukan pendusta.
dan bukan pencinta dunia.
yang berpura pura beragama.
sedangkan hati masih hina.
sungguh.
campak tepi segala dunia.
jauh jauh dari pandangan mata.
sebab sungguh
syurga neraka itu ada.
buat pilihan yang nyata sementara adanya masa.
and finally may God protect us from being in the lowest state of a servant.
a disobey servant.
selamat berbuka to all :)
is a day i decided to embrace my language.and today i realised.a person can change physically and the humans' eyes can be fooled easily.but God is not a fool.so for what we show physically,His eyes see what we actually are,emotionally.so here.for a quiet 2nd day of Ramadhan,malay words accompanied my keyboard....
apa yang diperlakukan oleh seorang manusia.
cukuplah Allah yang melihatnya.
dusta itu satu dosa.
namun lebih dosa jika dusta dibelakang nama.
atas nama Allah kita berpura-pura.
manusia itu tidak lebih dari seorang hamba.
jadi kenapa perlu lebih kan dunia?
manusia itu senang lupa.
jadi kenapa perlu berbangga?
apa yang ada bukan milik kita.
apa yang ada pinjaman semata.
jadi besihkan anggota dari bersangka.
bahawa dunia untuk selamanya.
manusia.
jangan diikut keinginin sentiasa.
sebab apa yang perlu lebih bermakna.
hanya yang perlu,perlu dibawa.
jadi doa pada Dia.
jadikan diri ini bukan pendusta.
dan bukan pencinta dunia.
yang berpura pura beragama.
sedangkan hati masih hina.
sungguh.
campak tepi segala dunia.
jauh jauh dari pandangan mata.
sebab sungguh
syurga neraka itu ada.
buat pilihan yang nyata sementara adanya masa.
and finally may God protect us from being in the lowest state of a servant.
a disobey servant.
selamat berbuka to all :)
Monday, August 1, 2011
extend it.or lessen it.up to you.
day 97.
is the first day of Ramadhan.
and without actually realising it i received a gift from God today.
a gift of Ramadhan.....
so today.for the first day of Ramadhan.and for the first time.
Ramadhan meant more than
just 30 days of fasting.
it is actually.
30 days of gift.
and if it is a gift.what do you do with it?...
you appreciate it.
and make most out of it.
simply because.you might not get the same gift again for the next years to come.
so today i learnt,we humans can never extend nor lessen that 30 days like how we want it to.
but we can extend the benefit of that 30 days or we could lessen it.
by our intentions and by our actions.during that period we received.
so extend it with beneficial deeds and lesson it not with wasteful sins.
to all.may you enjoy your 29 1/2 of gift from God.
after all.it is a gift.and it is from God.what more could you ask for? :)
is the first day of Ramadhan.
and without actually realising it i received a gift from God today.
a gift of Ramadhan.....
so today.for the first day of Ramadhan.and for the first time.
Ramadhan meant more than
just 30 days of fasting.
it is actually.
30 days of gift.
and if it is a gift.what do you do with it?...
you appreciate it.
and make most out of it.
simply because.you might not get the same gift again for the next years to come.
so today i learnt,we humans can never extend nor lessen that 30 days like how we want it to.
but we can extend the benefit of that 30 days or we could lessen it.
by our intentions and by our actions.during that period we received.
so extend it with beneficial deeds and lesson it not with wasteful sins.
to all.may you enjoy your 29 1/2 of gift from God.
after all.it is a gift.and it is from God.what more could you ask for? :)
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