something small for something big.

i would settle down.

with just.
being steadfast in those 5 times prayers.

with just
being steadfast in those 30 days of fasting.

with just
being steadfast in covering my head.

with just
being steadfast in being a decent daughter.

i would settle down.

for that.and.
just.that.

but.
for the things that i wished for.

He gave.even more.

and sometimes i wonder.

am i even worth.the honour?

this soul? this sinner soul? this trash?
on the path of enlightenment?
are you sure?

again. i uttered.countless uttering.

seriously.i would settle down.
with just.
the lowest point of heaven.
somewhere just right above hell.
just the least.
not too hot nor too cold.just for me to bare.

yes.even that.it would be fine.

but oh.no.no.no.
You held my heart.and You squeezed it hard.
ask more.You said.
and from there.
i did.

again.i would settle down with just that.
with just a Muslim as a title.
a title to hold.
nothing more.and nothing less.
really.that's what i've been told.

but again.You offered.
more than i bargained.
still.without fail.
ask MORE.You said.
and subconsciously.i did.

drowned in my own sins.
You pulled me out.
a Saviour that i yelled for.
silently in the darkest pit.
and You came.
each time.
anywhere.anytime.

again.i thought.

so little that i asked.
not a sign of  dare.
to all Your Might.and to all Your Power.
but just a sign of shame.
to my endless long sins.

really.truly.really.
i asked so little.
but You gave even more.

i asked You.to let me pray.
and You opened my heart.
to the things You say.

i asked You.to let me fast.
and You opened my heart.
to the wonders of hunger and thirst.

i asked You.to let me cover.
and You opened my heart.
to the miracles of modesty.

honestly.i did not ask for a different path.
something simple.something.in the middle.
but no.
You gave me more.

Tarbiyyah.
You gave me instead.

oh.indeed.thank you.Allah.

 Do they seek other than the religion of Allah (the true Islamic Monotheism - worshipping none but Allah Alone), while to Him submitted all creatures in the heavens and the earth, willingly or unwillingly. And to Him shall they all be returned. 
(  سورة آل عمران  , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter 3, Verse 83)