a letter to my future self.

Dear Neb.

i'm writing to you now with a high hope.that someday.
when you lose your way. these are the words that you would be reading.
may Allah guide you to these virtual words that i kept safe for you.

in the name of Allah.and so i begin. . . .


to you my dearest Neb.
please may you still be in the comfort and warmth of Allah.
while these words accompany you.one letter at a time.
-

Neb. once.i told you.and i shall tell you again.
too far have you gone now.will you not see?
too far off to make the starting line seems vague.
too far off to take that step backward.
and
too far off to be stoping for a break.

and so.if you ever fortuitously dismiss this journey from your mind.

close your eyes tight.and remember.well.

all those emptiness you used to have?
all those endless questions with no answers?
all those sleeps with tears still not dried?
and.
all those confusions that scarfed your soul bit by bit?

remember those.

. . . . .


and now.
remember these.

for each and every empty space you have in your hollow heart.
Allah came.and filled it.
so have you no shame and deny it?

for all those questions dangling in your mind.unanswered.
Allah came.and spared you the answers.
so have you no shame and yet deny it?

for all those sleeps that you fail to smile for.
Allah did come.and guarded your soul still.
so have you no shame and still deny it?

and

for all those unheard confusions.that became a friend.
Allah vanished it.in a brief swept.it went away.
so have you no shame and must you deny it?

oh dear Neb.
your soul is young.
an unseasoned traveller.
a fresh first breath.
that is what you are.

so overwhelmed yourself not.
if you trip. remain poise.
if you fall.stand up.
because. there is no perfect joy.nor will there be perfect misery.
in life.

so please.
do not remove the light that lightens the darkness with your own hands.
do not pray for an easy life. if the hard ones are the ones that made you who you are.
and do not.forget

to just.simply.just.
be.



grateful.

with love and countless care,
yourself.