the cry in joy.

Sunday it is.

it was a long night for me.it was not close to a deep slumber at all.and i woke up with an eye bag.followed by a delusional time frame that it is still night.when it is not.

and if you are wondering.what could have kept Neb semi awake in the middle of a silent night?

if you answer.she was praying to God.
then you would be wrong.

if you answer.she was reciting the Quran.
then you would be wrong again.

if you answer she was praising God with endless dzkir.
then you would be wrong.still.

and if you answer she was just simply keeping God close to her heart.the whole night.
then you would still be.very wrong.again.

because the fact is.she didn't do all that.she was just laying on the bed.turning her body left and right.trying to find the best position there is.
while turning off the alarm for every half an hour from 2 in the morning.
because.............

she refused to meet God that night.
and.......she was.......simply.the whole definition of what wasteful is.

with 1 day left before this beautiful month ends.i wasted it on a slumber.that was not even deep.
too soon to end.i whispered.but it remained just a whisper.because.this heart i have,is still not white.this heart i have is still black.
and i sigh with regret.and i wept remorsefully.because knowing without doing anything.is simply...what wasting is.

so.to Ramadhan that will soon end.
for the first time.i truly understand what appreciation is.because.
i appreciate you.so much so that i don't want you to pass.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for me to appreciate.

so to Ramadhan that will soon end.
my final word.is thank you.
greatest gratitude for being there.to battle with my transgress self.and i fear that it would be even harder when you end.
because.not just myself I'm battling with after this.but syaitan will be there too.every step there is to take.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for me to have you by my side.

so to Ramadhan that will soon end.
be it another year to come.i will wait.
may that God whom created you and I let us meet again.
and i hope you would be more than just 30 days of blessings.for us to never part.

and finally to Ramadhan that will soon end.in a day.
may i remember how much you worth.for when we meet again.
i shall greet you with full honour.
because......you deserve nothing less than that.
and i hope you would be more that just 30 days of blessings.for i want to greet you everyday.

let this entry be a reminder to my own self.to really make that one day left worth more than the rest of 28 days that passed.
since i will never know when is my next.

finally.to all muslims.my wish to you is Happy Eid.and my hope for you is that you had the best Ramadhan you have ever had.and the most moderate Eid you will soon celebrate.

and not to forget.to all Malaysians out there.Selamat Hari Merdeka.
Lets free ourselves from the sins that we committed,because that is what freedom really is.

salam.