late afternoon chat.

the wind of spring is blowing hard.
it's dark outside but still  far from midnight.
here i am inside.
not willing to be outside.
for it is nothing but cold.
and the silence of dark.

these past few days have been extremely different.
after years of keeping myself on this journey to God.
only tonight i once again felt.
the sweetness of the very first night.
when i said, 'o Allah be with me.for i am in fright '

truly
the topsy turvy of this journey have made me grown.
to make me understand that everything that i do not own.
a soul of a new searcher is seeking for my help.
and in a split second i am reminded of myself again.

o how i miss those days of late afternoon chat with God.
how i miss to just talk to empty space with confidence of being heard.
and far from fear of being seen as mad.
oh dear self.
what have become of you.
don't you still know.
that He listens even when you don't?
and so tonight. again.
in gratitude of a new found friend.
i was talking to my God again.
out to the empty space.

sometimes we think that we are helping others. but without realizing. it is them that is helping us.
the wonders of God's mercy.
He makes it possible for His worshippers.
to help and to be helped.

thank you Allah.
i now. again.
believe.

Verily, those who have believed, and those who have emigrated (for Allah's Religion) and have striven hard in the Way of Allah, all these hope for Allah's mercy. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most-Merciful. [2:218]