just.

day 78.

has not end.yet.

i can't sleep.and i can't even pretend to sleep.

if you have headache.you have panadol.
if you have stomach ache.you have ginger ale.
but.if you have heartache.what do you use?

these past few days were filled with laughter and smile.
and i thought that would be enough.
but nonetheless.i am still in pain.

wounds heal.but scars don't.
and it seems

only when this
mouth speak of His name.

only when this
mind think of Him.

only when this
heart feels Him.

will i only feel the presence of peace.

and unfortunately.

this mouth,does not speak of Him.
this mind,does not think of Him.
and this heart,does not feel Him.

and unfortunately.i feel not the presence of peace.
and therefore.i am still not asleep.
because i allow pain to feel me.but not the wisdom behind the pain.and the beauty of the pain.

late today,a wise lady told me,
patience is accompanied with pain.
and that is how God tests us and at the same time rewards us.

test us with the pain.and reward us with the patience.
Subhannallah. He is indeed just.

so be patient Neb.for that is your reward for your test of being in pain.
afterall...He is just.isnt't He.