why do i do the things i do?

it's a cold morning today.
and it seems to be a cold day again.
im wrapped tight in my duvet.
thinking of days where warmth is actually a great blessing.

2 weeks have passed.
and thousands of miles have i gone.
putting myself again in the unfamiliarities of life.
back to square one.

classes.projects.courseworks.
and husbandless.
in repeat.

as much as i try to grasp it all in a single blow.
it is bigger than my hands could hold.

but as i sat here alone.in my cold quiet room.
i began to elute my thoughts.
to a place i have not been in a while.

i began to ponder.
why do i do the things i do?
why do i follow the path?

is there some kind of a cosmic power that directs the entire universe to lead me.(us) to do the things that i (we) do now.
or is it just a matter of choice really?

to how even complex or different i shape the question to be.
i am always back to the basic answer.

its.
faith.

faith on a God that is not apparent to our views.
but close to the hearts.
faith that He is the one.
before.now.and after.

shaping the path.
the past.present and future.
of the thin thread of our lives.

bit by bit.
He formed it all.

and the more i think about it.
why do i do the things i do?

its because
the paths that were given to me.
has been written.
the choices have been given.

and in between two roads.
if i chose left.or right.

the following path.
the ending of the path.
has been determined.

and.
would it be a waste.
if i keep on asking why.
rather than embracing it.
appreciating it.
to base it now.
for Him.

because.
if i chose to be thousands of miles away.
from all the familiar faces.
into yet another ambiguous phase.
why not base it on Him?
why not putting the intention for Him?
wouldn't that be the grateful thing for a slave to do?

indeed.
nothing is lost.
if its Him you base it upon.

so.
its time now that i stop asking.
and submit to the answer instead.

it is because of faith.
i do the things i do.
and i ought to the things i have yet to do.

it is because of faith.


of a faith.
that my Allah is never vain in His decisions.

and i have made mine.
so did He.

to our days ahead.
may Allah put a gentle touch on it.
for every step of the way.
for every beat of the heart.
for every blow of the breath.

Ameen.