me in another me.

i truly believe in the idea that we can never really know a person in its entirety.

be it someone who we have known for years.
or just seconds.

there is no way.
a person could know another person right to the core.

because in all honesty.
at all times.
we don't even know ourselves entirely.

life itself is a process of engagement with oneself.
a point of building up confidence,trust  and tolerance.
of discovering the entity within us WITH the others.
and it is somehow true that.
we only know ourselves.
when we try to get to know others.
probably the reason  why we are designed to live in a community.
and not in solitary.

and that became a thought that i kept to myself  for these past few months.
in pursuit of knowing a stranger.
i somehow.
got to know myself.
even more.

and that triggered to an even longer ponderation.
of what is the true meaning of 'the other half'

years before.
i have always thought.
that the idiom of 'the other half'
has always been interpreted as a poetic gesture of what love is.
a way of expressing romanticism of two becoming one.

but somehow.
i think.
as i get to know myself even more by day.
i truly believe.
it goes beyond that .
more than just to complete a sonnet of love.
even more than just describing the randomness of everything in this world that are created in halves that will soon collide and merge into one.
even more than that.

because.
truthfully.


i don't  simply buy all that.

--------------------------------------

i guess.
deep down.
theres always that stand that i hold strongly.
believing that.
in order for us to find the other half.
we should have been 'one' with ourselves.
firstly.

and along the journey.
of countless prayers.
and silent talks with Allah.

i presume somehow.after all that .
He is indeed giving me a pinch of my own theory.

and i thought.
it would be nice for me to share it here.

--
so.
a stranger was presented.

someone i have not known.
not aware of existence.
and was not incline to know even.
at first.

but.
somehow.
God has His ways of doing things.
and in the process of randomness.
i have put myself as the subject of my own hypothesess.

will i be able to know a stranger like how i know myself- Hypothesis 1.
how far true is it that in finding the other half. i am actually finding myself - Hypothesis 2.

months went by.
and as i try to proof my own theory.
gathering evidence.
making analysis.
i was subconsciously. without realising it. living my theory. in reality.

if we talk about getting to know a person.
how do we actually know one?
is it by his/her character?
stands in life?
opinions and knowledge?
background of life?
facts and figures?
thoughts and feelings?

the list goes on.
but the question remains.

how do one put oneself at a point of knowing another being?
how.

and.so.
i tried to relate it to my stand of what the other half should have meant.
of how to know someone.
and of how to know oneself.

and as i proceed with the journey.
one particular thing that i realised is that .

with the effort.
and the time and the chances.
spared into getting to know another being.

i realised.

i was actually.
getting to know myself.

from a different perspective.
from a different entity.

from a different 'me'.

of who.
i actually am.

and it dawned on me that.
probably.
'the other half' would have meant that - it is how you know yourself at that particular of actually knowing someone else.

and somehow.
the phrase 'the other half' is actually the idea of you finding yourself.
in the midst of finding someone else.

its not merely about 1 + 1 = 2.
or finding the other side of a frame that fits.
but its actually.

knowing who you are when you are around that person.
and how the other being brings up the good or the bad in you.

and through that .
i understood.
slowly.

that all this while.
in this life.
we spend hours and hours and at times years after years.
to convince ourself that we are at a point of really knowing another being.
but.
i guess.
that should not have been the real case.
it shouldn't be about finding the other half entirely.
but it should also be about finding yourself when you are of great confidence of finding the other.

simply because.
you are the half of yourself.
and the only way of actually knowing your other half is to know yourself when you are with that person.

what good nature does the person bring out of you.
what sort of contentment you feel when you are around him/her.
what kind of a person you are. at that moment.

and at the end of the day.
if everything leads to Allah.
in all its pureness.

you would probably by then.
truly understand.
that.
'the other half' is not merely another person.
but its you.
when you are with that person.

so.in a way.
in trying to find the half that is so called missing.
we ought to actually find the time to realise that.
its not about how the person fit you.
but how your soul fit yourself when you are with the person.


well.
as for me.
i may have or may have not.
have truly found it yet.
but if there comes a day
where i am blessed to have that sort of thing with another person
'the other half' as people may say it.

i would have by then an idea.
of what.
it really is.


the other half of me.
is simply.

me.

may Allah grant me better understanding.
and may He let me find 'me' in another 'me' .
(say ameen jura-juta kali.please)

insyaAllah. :)