the last 30th.

a year ago.
to the last 30th of January.
was a different thing.

a different look.
a different purpose in life.
a different responsibility.
a different knowledge.
a different life style.

simply.a different me.

indeed 365 days ago.i was different.

and at times.in between those times.i seat at the corner and wonder.
what had happened?
why am i looking in instead of looking out?

like seeing a show on the telly.
and i was Marilyn Monroe of my world.

but.as the days add up.
the colours of the show fade.
and soon it became a black and white screen.
giving you a sense of flashback.
just like how you used to see in movies.
and in my head.that movie is my life.
that actress.is me.
and those fading colours of the screen.those are my flashbacks.

i waited for this date to finally write.after many days of
disappearing into the worldly life full of flaws.
waiting just for the exact 365th day of me not becoming me.

honestly.it felt only like yesterday.cliche' it may be.
but its the truth that i am saying.

and so.i decided to spend the morning of a Monday the 30th.to sit and reminisce.
to go back to the last 30th i had.and so.i did.

it was the night before.
i remember.
i made a wish.
simply a wish i made with no hope attached to it.
to a God i barely know.
to a God i seldom worship.
and to a God i submit not.

a wish of a gift.
nothing too much.
something special wrap in a box with a big fluffy ribbons on top.
and that i did.
i wished.
and i waited.

days went by.still.no one came with a box.and nothing came dropping down from the sky.
i waited.and waited.and waited again.
until i thought.
why would a God answer my silly wish? after all..
i never answered His.
and those few weeks of that 12 months
went by.
still that wish of mine.was glued hard to this brain.
no hope.but just a thought.
of a wish of a gift.
from a God.

until one day.in between those 365 days.
He........ replied.
in a way that i would have never imagined it would.
in a form that i did not ask for.but still.He gave.

something special wrapped in a box.with fluffy ribbons on top.
something worth more than what i deserve.
something if its not from Him.then none can award me.

that something................

is.


consciousness

He gave me consciousness.

to know His deen better.
and to love Him more.

which is why.

i have
a different look.
a different purpose in life.
a different responsibility.
a different knowledge.
a different life style.

now.on this 365th day.

because.last 30th.God gave me something special.wrapped in a box.with fluffy ribbons on top.

and so my only wish for this another 30th.
may You be with me.for the next 365 days ahead.amin...