a nervous and a crit.

day 53.

i am nervous.for a reason.

and i am ashamed for a reason too.

nervous because of tomorrow.

and ashamed because of how easy i get nervous over tomorrow.over such earthly matters.

and was never nervous because of You.

sigh.

what a waste of almost 3 decades of years living eh? never once do i took the chance to really feel the need to fear You.to respect You.and to get nervous over You.even when saying Your name.

and today.i get nervous.over such small thing i call crit? what is wrong with me? have i lost my mind? not knowing which is more important.not knowing which is more beneficial.oh.if only i knew better.

and if only i could change this feeling when i confront You in my prayers.so that i know its You that i need to fear.its You that i need to respect.and its You that i need to feel nervous for.

so today.forgive me for the many years of not feeling nervous when talking to You.when asking for Your help.and when being only a servant.and forgive me for thinking that the world owns my soul and possesses my physique .because i know better now than i know before.that You OWN me.in every way.

so to Wednesday.teach me how to be scared to God.because there is nothing more worth being scared for than Him.
and to Thursday.i fear you not if its not from Him.

so today lets be scared people.be scared for the right reason.because the fear that we have might just bring us to a better place.