tears.

day 39 is today.

i woke up with a smile.and before i could embrace today.drops of tears fell down.

and i felt as if my heart was shrinking.

and suddenly all the sins that have been done came rushing through my brain.

reminder that i am still a human today and yesterday and the days before.

how i have taken this world as the end point.and how i forgot.that God's love is far better than the love of 6 billion humans combine altogether.

and today.God showed me again.that His creation that i love dearly before,has not bring any benefits but tears and heartaches.

and today.in spite of the heartache that was presented to me in the morning of Tuesday.i felt a slight of thankfulness.that somehow this sinful creation of Him,me.still deserves a reminder from Him.i got it today.and clearly enough.i have loved the wrong creation of Him.and clearly enough before.i chose the pseudo love given by one of His creations instead of a pure love from Him who created love itself.

and the tears that fell down today.were not tears of finally knowing that i have lost that love from that person.but tears of how ungrateful i am and how sinful i have been towards Him.

so.i cried and dropped those tears.because tomorrow i will not cry for the same man again.i will only cry for Him.

a Tuesday full of tears indeed.